Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Dang, it's been a tough week. Today was fun, it was an all day skills day, but also a competency for sterile wound care. I thought i was sooo ready, but when i got in there, i just got so dang nervous, and I failed. such a drag. You know part of my problem was that the instructor kept talking to me (via patient) and i was trying to answer her "therapeutically" and remember everything. I turned my back TWICE, touched a non-sterile spot with a sterile glove, touched a non sterile paper to get swabs out (which i had taped upside down!) oh heck! Now I have to do a REAL wound! Eeeeek, and i thought this was stressful!

My meeting with the dean went really well, and her facial expressions were priceless when i told her the reasons that the other nameless instructors told me i might consider withdrawing. She was just so surprised and didn't feel that it warranted a withdrawal. She was pretty bugged at one prof. for telling me about her "feelings", or "intuition" or whatever she called it, saying that she didn't feel that her feelings lie. So it went well, but it did come right on the tail of failing the comp. so i was rather emotional to begin with. But she did not see reason for W. So there you have it. I'm still feeling bugged about not passing today. So I'm still rollercoastering. I have until Monday to decide, but failing is really not gonna hurt me in any way. If i do fail, i can petition it to be removed after i take the class again. This coming wk, we'll have a new clin instructor for our last 3 clinicals, and the dean said she is wonderful, and full of kindness and empathy, so i should be able to make it. Thanks everyone for your well wishing and prayers!


Anonymous said...

Hi, Heather
Your early experience reminds me of mine. After 6 weeks in the BSN program my advisor told me I should drop out of the program--I was not nursing material. I was devastated. Under this emotional abuse(?), I continued to pursue my studies, although, I was on the verge of 'flunking out' nearly every semester. I knew I would be a damm good nurse. I stunk it out. Now 20 years later I am a DON studying for my doctrine. Over the years, I have precepted dozens of nursing students and tried to provide the emotional support I was denied. Nursing is not for everyone but no teacher should ever tell any student he/she is unequip to be a nurse. I try to help them explore and clarify their problems and to develop plans that will help them overcome these problems to achieve their goals. Keep writing--your experiences may give strength to students out there who may be struggling or have doubts.

Nursapalooza said...

Wow, you are so danged encouraging! I really did need to hear that. What stupid people to discourage someone like that. My two best friends already dropped out or flunked out because of the same negative crap from some instructors. I can see why, it is really REALLY hard to go against the flow, when you are barely hanging on. Thanks! And if you have a page, I'd like to see it.