Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Ooooh those doubts be creepin' in....

So this is the second wk of clinicals, and i get more bad news and more doubts. I found out yesterday that I failed the second math competency by a HALF ! point! Can you believe it? I felt like i was breezing through it, but i made sure to show more work since that was written all over my past test. I had 2 left to go, when the general, er teacher says to pass them up. So that was 2 i missed, then a half somewhere else. We took an exam Tues. that i felt good about, i think i at least passed. We'll get the news on Monday concerning that. I haven't even started the Pharm class which I was forced to take on line. Then yesterday, I get a note on a hw that says, "see me" you know that's never good. I thought I was getting spoken to about the blanks on my paper, but noooooooooooo. I find out that I was "written up" for leaving my patients bed in a high position. I had already gotten spoken to about it, but i guess that wasn't enough, so now i have a notice in my permanent file concerning it. Great. Well not so. Also I'm spoken to concerning my sometimes too big personality that overly influences others in my group. Well shoot, i am a loud mouth, so i really do need to watch myself a bit more. Point taken. It was just too much "negative" for one day though, and I'm feeling a little sucky about the whole thing.

Then today, i wake up at oh... 4:14 am (I have to get up at 4:40 anyway) with a flaming bladder infection. Great, Im missing my first day of class, clinicals on top of it, and I'm totally prepared, did all my hw, AND my foot is sooo dang painful that I can't walk on it. I get this foot thing every now and then, so crap. I'm home with a bladder infection and painful foot thingy. Great. Maybe God is wanting me to think about nsg school a little. If i were to fail the math test for the 3rd time, I'd be out on my butt anyway. (Although i was surprised that i failed this time)
So shit. Yes I said shit. Today will be a day for thinking. I am not going to make any rash decisions concerning nsg. school, I've worked too dang hard to get here. But there are some definite draw backs that i strongly dislike about the program. Sooooo... we'll see. I just may have to rename this blog to.... "Dreamin' up some new dreams..."

1 comment:

Prisca said...

Oh wow!!! Sounds like you are really having a tough time...

We all go through doubts anout N. school-esp. when times get hard. I know I have had to change a lot throughout this program and examine myself and how I study, interact with people, etc.

You can do it--do some good thinking and adjust! :)