Monday, December 21, 2009
Well it's a good thing I didn't blog yesterday...because I was crying in my beer. Okay, so I can't stand beer, but if I could, I would've been filling it with salty tears. On a side note, that might improve the taste... Anyhoo, the last week was a difficult one. I met my patient for the HH (Home Health) job. She was a wonderful 5 yr old. But the problem was, was that she was 41 lbs, and unable to even support her weight, and as the nurse, I'd have to carry her up and down stairs, carry her to shower, etc. Her room is on the second floor, and unless, I planned on forever keeping her in one little room, I'd have to carry her. They have not gotten to the point of placing all the lifts and contraptions for lifting, carrying, and etc. She is just on the cusp, and I know it will not be long. But sadly, I could not do it. I knew my back would totally blow out in the first day. So I had to withdraw from that job. I was so sad, and I felt like such a loser. Then...within a few days of that disappointment, my hubby calls to let me know that we are getting ANOTHER frick'n pay cut of $400 a month! Yes, on top of the $700 previous! So, let it be known, I had a total crying jag that day. Yup, the full on heaving kind of crying. I only cry 3 or 4 times a year, so I let it go! My poor hubby got most of it on the phone. The next day, I got THE call from the job I wanted so badly...yup, I did NOT get it. They were completely wonderful and nice about it, but it was cheerleader tryouts all over again! (except that in for the cheer tryouts, I NEVER got this close!) So, needless to say, it's been a rather crappy week. I am trying to pick myself up, and learn what I need to learn, trust in Him who knows all, etc. And I love what a friend of mine said after my full on pity party (with balloons and party hats) said:
"I am all about embracing the sh*%! Enjoy it, eat chocolate, get mad and you will get to a higher place one bon-bon and a few trips to the mall at a time..." Don't you love it?! So I am embracing it, and going to God to help me, while I carb load as well!
On a happier note, we are all geared up for a simpler, gentler Christmas this year. God is good, He is in His heaven, and He loves us, sinners that we are. I mean, really, He has to, He sent His only son to help us out! So I am celebrating this holiday, and feeling His closeness, even as I struggle.
You all are the best, and I hope you have a great Christmas with loved ones. Merry Christmas!