Friday, April 30, 2010

long time no hear...

to say I've been in the weeds is an understatement my friends.

I sprained my foot climbing a bunch of rocks at the beach (loooooong story) and missed a whole wk of work. Following that, my mom passed away, so I took another wk off. For those of you who don't know, my mom has been in and out of hospitals for the last 2 yrs with respiratory issues from her COPD and very probable emphysema. Along with that, she had alzheimers which effected her memory/mind to forget how to walk, so she ended up in bed almost 24/7 except brief times in a cardiac chair. Her days were spent staring off. On a good day we could get some responses. It was so heartbreaking. Anyway, we decided to remove her from the ventilator, and she passed a few hours later with my brother, myself and our spouses at her side.



So, it has been an extremely challenging last month. When I finally got back to work I was given two more wks of preceptoring. I know this is done, only to help me, but it is extremely challenging working with so many different preceptors, FIVE of them! They each want me to nurse in "their" way, so I have to constantly try to figure out what is wanted. I have 4 more days. My final 3 should be with a preceptor I have previously worked well with. If that all goes well, I will be on my own. So I am feeling darned overwhelmed, stressed out, and damned emotional to say the least. See why I haven't been blogging???


So..that is where I'm at. I work again tomorrow. Thank God it is the weekend which is a bit less stressful. Wish me luck!

10 comments:

It's just me :) said...

Wow! It does sound like you have had quite a month.

I am so sorry to hear about your mother. ((HUGS))

nurseXY said...

Hang in there! You can do this!

Katie said...

Oh, my heart is aching for you. Any one of those things alone would have been hard... but all of it at once!! Hang in there and remember that God never gives us anything that we can't handle. Before you know it you will look back on this time and be amazed at what a strong person you are!! Lots of love and prayers coming to you from UTAH!!

Southern Drawl said...

I am so sorry. My mother died in 2007. It is excruciating. Please accept my deepest sympathies.

Hang in there with work. It will get better. Years ago some of the best advice I ever received was to not judge myself before six months.

Hugs { }

KLS said...

Always remember, you're awesome. Take each day as it comes and keep smiling that gorgeous smile!

Lorie said...

I am so sorry to hear about your mom, but like you said on my blog.. maybe your mom and my mother in law are up there running in the streets of gold together!! You have my deepest sympathies!

I know you don't like how the ADD medicine makes you feel but if it helps take it these next few days! Saying prayers that the next few days go smoothly for you!!

hope2brn said...

So Very sorry to hear about your Mom. Sounds like a really hard stretch there for you !. That is alot of stress packed on one persons shoulders. I have to say that the first nursing job is overwhelming. It gets better when you are on your own, which will happen! When you find YOUR own rythm and stride and do things the way you feel comfortable.. ITs hard to do things the way other nurses do. It is truly an individual process ..if that makes any sense??? My blog is sorta in limbo... got a nasty comment...( I dont handle criticizm very well.) and they were really nasty...anyway.hang in there! and Happy Nurses Week!

maggie said...

I am sorry for your mom. Besides, I often feel sometimes life treats us unkind and problem never come to us singular form. What I can do is only pray for you to get things better.

Candice Carpenter said...

What a couple of months Heather. I hope you are on your way to peace. Miss you!

Just Sweet Love said...

Heather, I'm so sorry about your mother's passing, my deepest condolences.