Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Two days down....

oh i don't know, about a hundred to go. The days, they ain't so bad, it's the mountains of forms, papers and assignments! As one of my friends often writes, GAAAAAAAAAAAH! So the first day, she was okay...but day 2...STRESSFUL. Yesterday, we went from 7-1930! Full of meetings, and explanations of what's due this semester in clinicals. Ya know, I've gone through this before, but now I have a different CI. Well let me tell you (say it as your mother would), sooooo different. Last semester, I had a CI who disliked the mountains of forms/paperwork, so we had very little. THIS semester, my CI wants every bloody frickin form. Now the forms ain't so bad, but it's what we must do to fill out said form. I won't go into details, because it would effect you more than an overdose of Valium. I am feeling completely overwhelmed..had you noticed? Well praise God, I've got today to detox. And praiser God that we have a 3 day wknd as well. Yes the praiser was intentional, you know, praise, praiser, praisest.

So today i will get my handy dandy calendar out, and fill out my life for the next...oh 100 days or so. And then I will attempt to breeeeeeeeeeeeeathe through it. I will tell myself, a time or two or 200, that I WILL MAKE IT.But I'm telling you yesterday, I kept hitting wall after wall. EVERY time I got in my car I went the wrong direction. Honest. On the freeway, on the off ramps, on every bloody street. I did U-turns yesterday at least 20 times. I am honestly not exaggerating. Not once, the whole day did I drive in the correct direction.
Oh and you know what? I failed the math competency yesterday too. Bad start to my day, I'm telling you. I buzzed through it. Thought it was easy. BUT the instructor at the beginning of the test said to round ALL ml to the tenth. NOT just the ml/hr! So I did as she instructed, and missed 3 of them! And then 2 others because of a stupid 0 mistake I made. So I will have to retake it, which is STRESSFUL because if I fail it a second time, I'm out of nursing school completely! Yeah, I'm about crying right now. I can't believe I failed, I was so damned ready for it! GAH.
So...I should just shut up, I know I'm bringing this party down. If you could, I would appreciate any and ALL encouragements you could send...and prayers of course. I will tell myself once again, 'God is in His heavens, and all is well'. "Ummmm....God, a little help here please."

I hope your day is completely wonderful. And please do forgive my overindulgence of angst.

7 comments:

Lorie said...

Girl you go right on and vent away!!!! You deserve it! Our nursing school motto was C=RN... and keep telling yourself that the light at the end of the tunnel (graduation) is within sight!! Just think that after nursing boards you will not have to look at another text book until YOU want to!!! That use to keep me going...
Hang on you are almost there and remember to breathe!!!!!! Saying some prayers for you!

hope2brn said...

Heather! I failed the friggin math competency 2X at the beginning of the last semester. We were allowed to take it 3 times and if we failed the third time then we were out. It was very stressfull!I even went out and bought the dang dosages made incredible simple! It helped!! I will send it to you...Dont stress..
Breath!! Check your email

ann said...

I'm praying Heather! This Psalm has helped me lately:

Save me, O God, for the floodwaters are up to my neck. Deeper and deeper I sink into the mire; I can't find a foothold to stand on. I am in deep water, and the floods overwhelm me. I am exhausted from crying for help; my throat is parched and dry. My eyes are swollen with weeping, waiting for my God to help me... But I keep right on praying to you, Lord, hoping this is the time you will show me favor. Psalm 69:1-3, 13 NLT May the Lord show you MUCH FAVOR!

Katie said...

I just heard a story recently from a friend of mine who is a rocket scientist (literally). Anyway, he was talking about this big chemistry test he had to take to get into school and it sounded awful. He said he studied soooo hard and then the night before realized there was no way he would ever be able to learn and remember everything he needed to. So, he called his mom and she very simply said "God know everything". My point? YOu do everything you can, study and work your hardest... and God will fill in the gaps. Have faith in his power to help you and hand your worry over to him. Love you ad will have you in my prayers!

Heather said...

thanks y'all! You are very encouraging. I guess I am feeling a bit panicky. I will put my faith in Him, because fear is not of Him, right? Right.

Breeeeeeeathe.

Laurel Ann said...

How're those breathing exercises working?!? Hang in there, girl!

Anonymous said...

Heather you can do this,YOu will pass the next math test just fine.
keeping you in my prayers
colleen